• Lauren Burke

Eye Exam

Do you ever feel like your doctor just won’t listen to you?

As someone with a myriad of medical problems, I haven’t really experienced this since I was a kid. I have a great team of doctors, and they all take me seriously and trust me, so I, in turn, trust them. I have a problem, I explain it to them, they think about it, and give me frank advice/next steps/tell me to calm TF down because I’m freaking myself out. The last is just as valid, as I can get paranoid. After all, I have multiple autoimmune disorders and have spent more than my fair share of time in doctors offices.

But this year is the first time in my life I’ve had doctors basically ignore me. It started with my new endocrinologist, a young woman, who clearly seldom deals with type one diabetics. I wanted to try some other methods for keeping my blood sugars down, she said my A1C was good and I needed to stop trying so hard. A statement that made my blood boil with rage, because she clearly doesn’t understand that this is MY LIFE and I would really like to continue living it sans diabetes complications. She started to get where I was coming from, but still wouldn’t change my meds, so I figured I would give her a few months to warm up to me as a type one… So we will see how my appointment goes next week with her.

But today, I went to the eye doctor. Starting maybe six weeks ago, my migraines would be triggered by driving, which is a new thing for me. If the sky was bright or any headlights shone in my eyes, BAM, migraine. If I was in a room and a light was shining in my eyes? BAM, migraine. And, seemingly suddenly, I have been struggling with detail and reading things. I find myself holding things closer to my face to read, and squinting to read license plates, unable to read the state name until I am less than one car distance away, instead of being able to read it from four or more car distances away. So I set an appointment, and my doctor didn’t listen to me at all. I was trying to tell him that the expensive computer glasses he had me get just made my eye strain worse, and the distance ones that are basically the same are doing nothing for my distance, and half the time I’m better off without them. I told him about the pain that shoots straight from my eyes to the back of my head whenever lights hit my eyes, and he completely disregarded everything I said. He then decided I needed super expensive focal glasses, because my eyes don’t like switching from near focus to far focus.

Uhm. Yeah. My eyes never have. That’s why I’ve had bifocals since the 10th grade. That is not my problem right now!!! My problem is the GIANT KNIFE going from my eyeballs to the back of my skull!! Wtf, Robert?! You have been my doctor since I was a kid, you should know me better by now. I’m so upset over all of this, and terrified as to what could actually be causing this incredible pain and daily migraines. I haven’t had migraines this regularly since 2011, I thought I was past this, but now I am not. I’m miserable again.

But I couldn’t even get the fancy glasses because my insurance won’t go through until May. So I have a recheck when I get back into town in May.

Let’s hope I can get through to him then. I might just bring my mom along to help advocate for me, since I could hardly hold back my tears today. 

© 2020 Lauren Burke

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